Friday, 14 October 2011

Can you counsel non-Christians with God’s Word Counseling Solutions

Can you counsel non-Christians with God’s Word Counseling Solutions

Link to Rick Thomas

Can you counsel non-Christians with God’s Word

Posted: 13 Oct 2011 09:05 PM PDT

Sometimes people come to me who are not Christians.

Most of the time the unbeliever knows that I am a Christian counselor but, for reasons that can vary, they are willing to give me a try.

Counseling a non-Christian is a different kind of counseling context that requires a different way of thinking as well as a different approach. For example,

The unbeliever does not understand things of the Spirit. – 1 Corinthians 2:14

The unbeliever may perceive spiritual things as dumb. – 1 Corinthians 1:18

The unbeliever could be easily offended by Christianity. – 1 Corinthians 1:23; Psalm 119:165

The unbeliever is not enabled, empowered, or illuminated by the Spirit of God. – John 16:12-15

The unbeliever has no context or ability to be changed in a sustainable way by the Word of God. – John 17:17

The unbeliever is living under the Father's wrath. – John 3:36

The unbeliever could be a mocker of the Word of God. – 2 Peter 3:3-4

I’m sure you could add several more Bible verses to this list that show the difficulty in bringing God’s Word to bear on an unbeliever. But let's say the unbeliever is coming to you, a Christian, for help in overcoming or at least working through his problems.

The first question you must ask is, “Can I counsel a non-believer?” If you mean, “Can you bring God’s Word to bear on his life,” then that is an easy question to answer. Of course you can. We all were unbelievers at one time and God’s Word was brought to bear on our lives (Romans 10:17).

We should be full of God’s confidence when we approach unbelievers with God’s Word. The better question is, “How can I use God’s Word when counseling an unbeliever?” That is what this article is about.

What are you to do? How are you to approach this opportunity? As I have pondered these questions, here are a few things that I do in order to help the unbeliever get to the cross, where real help can truly take place.

While evangelism would be the main point and purpose of these opportunities, should he initially reject the Gospel, I would still like to work with him, with the hope that God would eventually regenerate him.

Part of my goal would be for him to see, know, and even experience what Jesus Christ is like through the wisdom of His Word. With that in mind, here are a few things to consider:

Make it as easy as you can for him to get to Christ

You will notice that my website does not have Christian paraphernalia on it (E.g. crosses and fishes). While it would not take any reader long to figure out my passion for the Savior, I have deliberately chosen not to place potential hindrances in front of anyone before they get to know me.

Too many times we can parade our "Christian style" before the unbeliever in such a way that it can confuse him or even turn him off (1 Corinthians 14:23). While at times I realize it is unavoidable and I would not suggest any form of deception in order to make it easy for an unbeliever to hear the Gospel.

However, there are other times, like my website, where a "softer appeal" could be a wise approach. Everything you and I do does not have to be "in your face." Christ, for example, looked like the unbelievers He was winning to Himself.

His primary approach was for them to get to know Him. It was the other religious folks of His day, who looked religious and felt it necessary to wear their religion on their sleeves, that He warned against (Matthew 6:1-18).

I want my unbelieving friends to see Christ in me as displayed by the fruit of the Spirit more than my religious garb. If possible, I don't want my religious customs to be a stumbling block to those who do not believe.

This is not an appeal at all to soft-pedal the Gospel, but a call for wisdom and discernment in how we present the power of God to unbelievers.

Consider behavioral modification as a means to get him to Christ

The unbeliever cannot live godly because God is not in him. It is practically and theologically impossible for him…

to put off [his] old self, which belongs to [his] former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of [his] mind, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. – Ephesians 4:22-24 (ESV)

He does not believe and, therefore, cannot be permanently changed. As every Christian knows, the real Counselor is the Holy Spirit of God. Therefore, true life change is not possible.

However, you can offer him hope through the wisdom of God's Word as he applies certain truths that he can implement in order to change.

If a man can apply tips from Dale Carnegie or Stephen Covey to his life, there is no reason why he could not or should not be able to apply God’s Word to his life.

My hope would be for him to be encouraged by the wisdom found in God's Word. The Bible is the only authentic psychology book known to man and it speaks directly to man's core problems.

Though he may reject God, he can still be affected by His Word. Nothing is neutral and the Word of God most certainly is not neutral. My purpose for counseling him behavioristically would be to stir up interest in God, with the hope that God may draw him to Himself and convert him.

And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself. – John 12:32 (ESV)

The essence of evangelism and counseling is to "stir up interest in God." What I am speaking of here is how to do it in a counseling context where the unbeliever comes to you with an interest in being changed.

This is not a call for "easy believe-ism" and while he may be "temporarily benefiting" from God's Word, I would simultaneously be introducing him to the lifted up Savior so he could be saved.

Connect with him where he is rather than expecting him to meet you where you are

When Paul was talking to the unbelievers on Mars Hill, he talked to them in part from their perspective and from their context. For example, he quoted their poets in Acts 17:28.

While Paul did not compromise his message, and we shouldn't compromise ours either, he was wise enough to know that he needed to connect with them according to where they were rather than where he wanted them to be.

This truth applies to any person you are discipling whether they have faith in God or not. I suspect that if you have counseled or discipled a number of people, you have probably counseled unbelievers, who you thought were believers or maybe they even thought they were believers.

Sometimes biblical counselors make too much about counseling believers vs. non-believers as though we really know. Counsel the Word. The Spirit of God can figure it out.

I have counseled believers as believers, when they were actually unbelievers.
I have counseled unbelievers as unbelievers, when they were actually believers.
I have counseled unbelievers who became believers.
I have counseled “believers” who become unbelievers and then became believers.

Don’t become twisted up in whether you should evangelize or disciple. Counsel the Word. Lean into the Spirit. Trust God and don’t split unnecessary hairs.

Being a believer or unbeliever does not slow down or stop God’s Word from changing someone. From our perspective, the issue should not be so much about God’s Word and its effectiveness, but how we relate God’s Word to real people who need real and practical answers.

The essence of the Gospel is about going to where people are and introducing them to the Christ through means in which they can understand, with the hope that God will draw them to Himself.

Christ came to where we were and became like us before He began transforming us into His likeness (Philippians 2:5-11).

We see this relational-relatability of the Living Logos in many of His encounters with the people of His day. When He met the woman at the well in John 4:16, He related to her where she was rather than seeking to get her to understand Him and His message first.

Similarly, it may be wise and effective for us to bring God's wisdom and clarity to people’s lives and situations before we began to try to move them to where we know they must eventually go.

The anti-illustration or non-relationship approach

Many years ago I was part of a conservative religious movement. No doubt, we were serious and passionate about the Lord. Even to this day I do not question their passion and zeal for the Lord.

But, contrary to what I am writing here, we took a "separatist" position when it came to the people in our culture. It was the equivalent of standing on the other side of a fence yelling at them in order to motivate them to come over to our side.

I’ll never forget one particular weekend when there was a country music concert at our local fairgrounds. It was your typical 90 degree July day. The concert was a big draw and it seemed like a great idea for me to go and "evangelize the pagans."

This is a true story: I put on my best "Sunday suit" which included a necktie and long-sleeved, starched shirt, and topped with my fedora. I also took my brand new Radio Shack, battery operated bull horn and a stack of Bible tracts.

With my Bible tracts in one hand and the bull horn in the other, I began blaring away, letting all the pagans know that if they did not turn to Christ they would go to hell. While my message was straight as an arrow, my method left a lot to be desired.

I have reflected on that day many times through the years and wondered how I was perceived. I do not reflect on it through the lens of insecurity or fear of man, but through the lens of Christian immaturity.^[1]

Looking back on that event and trying to see myself through their eyes, I imagine they could have been thinking that if they would come to Christ they could be just like me.

On that day, in that crowd, I was the Christian "rep" who was modeling what they could be if only they would turn to Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 5:1)

There were about 10,000 tattoo wearing, beer toting, rolled-up sleeve, long-hair, country music loving fans, who had the choice of listening to country music's finest, or they could put on their long-sleeved starched shirts, with a necktie and fedora and begin yelling at the other music lovers regarding their eternal destiny.

If I had it to do over again, I would have modeled a clearer picture of the Savior rather than a strict sect of Christianity that has mostly lost its relevance. Christ mingled with the unbelievers, ate with them, related to them, and shared Himself with them.

There are times, especially when evangelizing, that it is helpful to be able to understand and relate to your audience in order to win them to Christ. I did not understand them, nor did I relate to them. They did not understand me and most definitely could not relate to me.

I was a side-show carnival act to be mocked. Of course, I received their mocking and crude gestures as being persecuted for Christ.

In the years since, God has mercifully shown me how to roll of my sleeves and sit with the unbelievers of this world, similar to what the Savior did, and show them the wisdom of God’s Word. His Word is impressive.

Unbelievers may not have the Spirit, but they are made in the image of God and they do have a conscience that can respond to the power of God’s Word (Romans 2:14-15). It is possible for them to resonate with truth when they hear it practically applied to their lives.

There have been times where God used behavioristic application as a lead-in to draw a person to Christ.

^[1] Yes, I'm aware that God may have regenerated someone through my sincere efforts. ↩

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