Dealing with sexless marriage problems

What to do when your spouse is not interested in sex anymore? This is an all-too-common problem in many relationships, and there are no easy answers.
Here's a true-life scenario: After 15 years of marriage, Cindy and John had a hard time getting in the mood, even though they loved each other. When they were first dating, and shortly after their marriage, getting mutually aroused was no problem at all. Even years into their marriage, sex was still a high point...they have multiple children to show for it. But as the relationship has worn on over the years and the novelty has worn off, these two found themselves not really spending any time together sexually in their bedroom. Their bed went from a love nest to just a place to sleep. What happened to those days where they would roll around together in the throes of passion? Is there any hope for sexless marriages?

In instances like this some marriage counselors may suggest opening the lines of communication, which is the best step. Questions like: 'How do you feel about our sex life?' or 'Why do you think we don't make love like we used to?'can be threatening if not asked at the right time, however. The best way to go about it is when you are both doing something like driving in the car...paying attention to the road ahead and sitting side by side can help couples avoid an awkward face-to-face, while still delivering the same results. If you ask, just listen and follow with some reflective questions or observations like 'I see...so, it sounds like we're both struggling here...I wonder if it is hormonal or if there are other contributing factors...what do you think?'
A sex therapist may advocate taking steps toward learning to touch again...holding hands, hugging, kissing, and cuddling...such measures can break the ice that has built up over months.
A more aggressive approach would involve introducing something as simple and obvious as a sex toy. We tend to agree that if used lovingly, something as simple as a vibrator can introduce a spark where it is needed most. And there are a number of ways that you can introduce such devices into your relationship without feeling embarrassed. 

First, you want to find an online shop such as this one that caters to sexuality. And you want to ensure that it will be delivered in a way and at a time that will not seem suspect; next, be certain to find a place to hide it so that the kids do not find it. Our suggestion would be that you try it out with an open mind, whether it is a vibrator or lingerie, and just see what your partner likes and what they do not like and run with it. 

A sex toy is really no substitute for genuine communication, but it can help your relationship flourish on a physical level. It is difficult if the wife feels more strongly about having sex and husband does and instead of shifting the blame to one another or getting angry, it may be just that you have to look for a medical cause underlying the low libido, perhaps the husband is suffering from impotence and is embarrassed to see a doctor. Before you do perhaps checking out the website that sells sex toys would be a good idea to see if it is just a matter of visual stimulation or whether or not there is a genuine physiological cause.