Does Bible Say I Have to Stay In Sexless Marriage?

QUESTION: Where does it say in scripture that I am required to stay in a marriage WITHOUT sex. If my spouse is not physically disabled, not grossly obese, not cheating on me but just NOT interested in having sex and REFUSES to go to counselling unless I agree to breast augmentation. What ARE my choices?? Where does God command a wife or a husband for that matter to stay in an actual sexless marriage. Not sex one time a month or 4 times a year, which is sexless nonetheless, but NEVER. Please give me a straight honest answer…………..Thank you.

ANSWER: Rather than go through all the passages in the Bible that speak to marriage, I believe we can answer your question by looking at just one. It’s found in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5.
“Because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (New Living Translation)
Quite simply, your husband is sinning. Though he apparently attempts to, he cannot rightfully justify his sin by blaming it on you because you do not have breast implants. Paul gives no criteria that one mate has to meet in order for the other mate to be obligated to fulfill him or her sexually. That means your husband cannot require you to have breast implants before fulfilling you sexually.
My understanding of the word adultery is a violation of the marriage contract. By withholding sexual interaction with you he is committing adultery of a sexual nature. The church would not tolerate his committing adultery by having sex with someone other than you. Why should it tolerate his adultery of refusing to have sex with you? Yes, it’s that serious. Notice that in the passage Paul says that we are not to deprive each other. The renowned theologian Gordon Fee writes about that word: “The use of the verb ‘deprive’ is especially striking. This is the same verb used in [chapter 6] for the man who had defrauded another. It is a pejorative word for taking away what rightfully belongs to another…” (1)
Your husband is taking away what rightfully belongs to you.
I like what Bob Deffinbaugh wrote about the 1 Corinthians 7 passage on Bible.org. “Paul does not stress the submission of the wife to her husband here, as though it is his role to get pleasure from his wife, and her role to give pleasure to her husband. There is mutual submission here, so that both the husband and the wife are to subordinate their interest (pleasure in sex) to the interest of their mate. Consider the guiding principles for what we might call ‘Spirit-filled marital sex.’
“The norm is that Christians will marry and that as a Christian couple, the husband and wife will enjoy regular sexual relations…
“A healthy sex life is a preventative for immorality…
“Both husband and wife should eagerly engage in the sexual act as their duty, both to God and to their mate…
“Both husband and wife should not only give themselves for sex, but each should seek to produce the ultimate pleasure for their partner. Reaching the ultimate pleasure in the sexual union is what best insures against immorality…
“Neither the husband nor the wife has the authority to deprive their mate sexually…
“Those Christians who have been forcibly making a celibate of their mate by withholding sex are commanded to stop sinning in this fashion…
“Sexual abstinence is to be a rare and temporary exception to the norm of regular sexual union.”
Therefore, in answer to your question, I know of no passage in scripture that says you are to stay in a marriage in which one mate refuses to have sex with the other. In fact, my understanding of the 1 Corinthians 7 passage is that you spouse is violating the marriage covenant and if he refuses to reprint and fulfill that obligation, you have no obligation to stay with him.
(1) Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, The New International Commentary, F. F. Bruce, General Editor, (Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1987 [reprint, 1993]),

Ten dangerous questions to ask your partner.

Most of us play things fairly safe...get up, go to work, hang out with friends now and then, sleep, etc.  Let’s be honest, that’s boring.  So if you’re ready to add some variety to your life, try asking these questions of your partner today.  They’re dangerous because they challenge the status quo that many of us have grown to know and love.

1.     If you could choose anywhere to go on vacation together, where would it be?  How can we make it happen by this time next year?

2.     What is one thing that you would be willing to die for?

3.     If you had to pick a different city to live in for the next five years (aside from this one), which city would it be?  Do you want to move?

4.     If you could quit working for an entire year, what would you most like to do with your time?

5.     If I gave you $100 to use on yourself, what would you do with it?

6.     What is one thing you haven’t told me about yourself?

7.     What is one thing you really want to accomplish before you die? What is the next right step
we can take together to achieve this?

8.     What does my family do that annoys you?

9.     If a fire destroyed our home, and you could take three things out before the blaze, what would they be? [Assume everybody gets out safe, so we’re talking about possessions, not people]

10.   If you could try something new in the bedroom—sexually, not decoratively—what would it be?

4 myths about married sex

1. Marriage means boring sex. The idea that getting married means that you can no longer go crazy in the bedroom is a pure lie.  In fact, let us encourage you to crank it up a notch tonight...after all, life is too short to be predictable...why not experiment a little bit?  Try the kitchen instead of the bedroom, for instance.

2. My spouse doesn't expect special treatment. Let's face it, we all like it when we get a little extra attention in the bedroom, and your spouse is no different.  They may not say it, but no woman has ever complained that the back massage was too good nor has any man turned down oral sex.  Finding out what your spouse likes, and doing that, usually improves married sex. We also want to avoid being demanding...just because we like something, doesn't mean our spouse likes doing it...it is perfectly fine to ask, but don't insist.  Go into the bedroom to give, and you'll be fine.
.

3. If I keep doing the same thing, the same way, our sex life will be good. Variety is the spice of life, and that goes doubly for the bedroom.  Just like your diet, you should change it up frequently to keep it interesting.  If you need some inspiration, and who doesn't, check out this book for guidance!

4. It is about the body, not the eyes. Again, this is just nonsense...sex is as psychological as it is physical, and burying your face in the pillow hardly communicates, 'This is awesome-I love you!'  Make a point of watching each other, look into each other's eyes...don't stare, of course, that's just creepy, but try to make a connection with your gaze, not just your bodies.

As always, it is our pleasure to increase pleasure in your marriage!  For more ideas, including a huge variety of sex toys, please visit our website --The Christian Bed.

The Sexiest Vibrator Ever Made!

Looking for a vibrator?  Look no further than Lelo, a Swiss company that makes luxury sex toys.  These guys are simply amazing...they make the Ferrari of vibrators!  Powerful, sexy, stylish, discrete...if you didn't know better, you'd think these babies were a piece of modern art.  

Oh, did I mention that they are also made of uber-comfortable phthalate-free silicone?  In other words, unlike cheaper vibrators, the Lelo is good for you and the environment.  Eco friendly sex toys y'all!  

The Lelo is also waterproof and comes in a discrete package, not unlike the quality of a new Apple product.  Inside the outer, nondescript box, you'll find another box, inside which lies your Lelo, shrouded in black silk, ready to pulsate and vibrate.  You can check out their YouTube page to see a video...click here.  

Not only is the Lelo made of eco-friendly materials, but it is rechargeable (read 'wireless'!) and holds a charge for plenty of uses. It is quiet, vibrates in a number of ways/intensities, and even comes equipped with a safety lock so that it won't accidentally go off when in your purse, like cheaper vibrators can.

Of course the Lelo, like the Ferrari, is only for the most discriminating of women and may be outside most budgets...but if there was ever an excuse to splurge on something nice for your sex life...trust us, Lelo has made it! :-)

If you'd like to check it out for yourself, stop by The Christian Bed, and browse around.

Song of Sol 1:12-13

While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. 

A beautiful picture!

Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. (Song of Sol 1:10) http://www.christianbed.com