Four Foreplay Tips for Better Sex

Generally speaking, we all want great sex, right?  But, at least for many guys, foreplay is considered more of a formality than a necessity.  Women, on the the other hand, are wired for foreplay.  How then, do we bring these two types together?  Simple, each side needs to make an effort to engage in foreplay that the other side can receive.  Here are some ways to do just that:  

1.  Foreplay, guys, involves more than touching your wife five minutes prior to doing the deed.  Of course, you already know that.  It can start with a non-routine, flirtatious call from work, where you tell her how desirable she is, how you can't wait to get home, and what you plan to do to her when you arrive.  When she asks 'What got into you?', just snicker like a teenager.  

2. Another way for guys to do creative foreplay involves doing something practical before bed: giving the kids a bath, load the dishwasher, tidy up the living room, whatever.  If these are things she usually does every night (usually without complaint!), she'll appreciate that you've given her a break.  Try saying something like, 'While I'm doing this, you can have a cup of tea/read your book/check your email/ etc.'  The point is to help her unwind before bed, rather than expecting her to rush from one activity to another, then to the bedroom.  It is all about allowing her to get into an unhurried and receptive state of mind.  Of course, we ought to be doing these things anyway because we love our spouse, but perhaps we don't realize that simple things like helping out can be a type of foreplay.  You can ask her later, with a wink and a smile: 'So, is it true that a man is never sexier than when he is helping out around the house?'

3. For women, please realize that guys are primarily visual (you probably already knew that), and that physical touch goes a long way (probably knew that too).  Sometimes it is good to be reminded that they will interpret foreplay through these two channels.  So why not be the instigator?  Even if you don't feel like sex, you may be surprised by how turned on you become when you become the pursuer, rather than the pursued.  You can (and should) be subtle about it, however.  Try brushing up against him while he's doing something routine like reading the newspaper, or unbutton your blouse a couple buttons then playfully lean over in his line of sight and catch him looking at your cleavage...give him a wink and say something like 'you naughty boy.'  Or why not get the fires burning early in the day by reaching into his front pocket before work and saying 'I just wanted to see if you had any spare change'.  Trust me, he will respond, and he'll probably be home early! 

4.  It goes without saying that learning to shut off the TV, especially if you have one in the bedroom (a BIG no no!), is crucial to making foreplay work.  It is hard to flirt with one another if, in the background, there is a glowing box blasting canned laughter, the sound of gunshots, or a news anchor's voice as they run through a list of the day's tragedies.  Shut it off and turn each other on.

The point is to make foreplay fun, creative, and to engage in it outside the bedroom.  This article was brought to you by The Christian Bedroom, where couples can find luxury sex toys, meant to enhance their sex life together as husband and wife.  

Sex Toys In Christian Bedrooms? Why not!?!?

Sex, Sex Toys and Christianity

Marketing"intimacy products" for a Christian audience. Published on June 25, 2011 by Michael Shelton, MS, CAC in Sex Life of the American Male

I first encountered Kelsy Burke's research on online Christian sex toy stores at the 2011 Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality Eastern and Midcontinental Conference, and I was more than a little mystified. Kelsy laughingly informed me that this is a common reaction:"When I describe my research to friends and colleagues, a common response is bafflement that Christian sex toy stores exist"

Kelsy is currently engaged in a study of online Christian sex toy stores as part of a larger project for her Ph.D. dissertation that examines how evangelicals promote sex practices within marriages. I asked her to elucidate her research:"Since the latter half of the 20th Century, evangelicals have thrived, in part, by participating in the capitalist marketplace, producing Christian versions of rock music, movies, and self-help books. Evangelicals have written sex manuals that have produced booming industry since the 1970s and new best-sellers continue to be released every year. A Google search for Christian sex toys' will bring you to Christian websites that sells intimacy products,' including traditional vibrators and dildos; anal play; g-spot and dual action toys. Customers can find just about any sex toy, other than video pornography, on a Christian-owned site."

What do Christian sex toy stores have in common?

They are evangelical-owned.  Although owners label their stores as Christian,' they espouse distinctly evangelical beliefs, such as a literal interpretation of the Bible, an emphasis on being born again and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

They sell sex toys to a married Christian audience.  Store owners insist their products are intended for married couples only, and fantasizing about using their products, as long as it is with a spouse, is not a sin. Store owners go to great lengths to ensure that sexuality (including sexual thoughts) is contained within the confines of marriage.

 

A belief by owners that God all but demands satisfying sex within Christian marriages.  According to the owners of one online store,"Christian sex should be sexy, fun, passionate, pleasurable, and extremely intimate! God created sex as a gift to be shared between a married man and woman, so enjoying it within the context of His creation should only increase the delight!"

All Christian sex toy stores advertise themselves as"pornography-free."   As one online store declares, pornography is the number one reason for failed marriages.' What being pornography-free means however varies from site to site. One store sells"married erotica" and does not consider it to be pornographic; other sites remove or cover packaging that depicts pornographic images, while other sites refuse to sell anything that requires label modification. One store owner goes so far as to replace pictures of nude models with line-drawing outlines of models in product instruction manuals.

Kelsy concludes by detailing the inherent complexity of Christian sex toy stores:"Not all evangelical Christians would condone Christian sex toy stores. Still, the presence of evangelical-owned online sex toy stores is symbolically meaningful. They serve to validate sexual intimacy that can't be found in the Bible. Evangelicals interested in certain sex practices that are stereotypically taboo within conservative Christian communities, such as anal play or sex involving light bondage, can find confirmation that their sexual interests are approved in Christian settings. But on the other hand, Christian sex toy stores also create a particular dilemma for the evangelical community. By talking about and selling products related to sex, Christian sex toy stores may sexualize thoughts or actions in ways that go against evangelical principles. They blur boundaries of permissible and forbidden, challenging a coherent notion of Godly sexuality." 

Full article: Found here.

Top 10 Tips for Great Sex

1. Speak up: Verbalize what you want your spouse to do to you...tell them what feels good and how good it feels...encourage them to keep doing it and describe how to do it: faster, harder, etc.
2. Listen up: Get out of your head and listen to the sounds of your lovemaking, the breathing, the exclamations, the clapping of flesh.
3. Dress up: Take some time to look nice for your spouse, trade in that old sweatshirt or the briefs with holes in them for some lingerie and silk boxers.
4. Wake up: Try it first thing in the morning...that is when testosterone levels are at their highest.  Wake up sex is one way to put a smile on your face for the whole day.
5. Wash up: Yes guys, after a long day of work, you can't expect your wives to want to cuddle up if you smell like your deodorant stopped working hours ago; also, for both parties, before you follow the next step, it might also be worthwhile taking a quick shower.  'Nuff said.
6. Go down: Everyone likes it when their spouse goes south of the border...oral sex can be terrific, and practice and some coaching from the recipient go a long way toward making it better and better with each try. 
7. Lay down: Sex is as mental as it is physical...don't rush into it or out of it...take some time to lay down beside one another before and after...look into the eyes, stroke the hair, snuggle a bit.
8. Calm down: Many guys suffer from being too quick on the trigger...if that describes your situation, it may be that you're getting ahead of yourself.  Stop for a second, when that funny feeling starts rising, and then start again only after it subsides.  Some even find that pulling out and squeezing the tip of the penis for a few seconds is enough to help them keep going stronger, longer! 
9. Slim down: Most of us would love to be in better shape, and when it comes to sex, a healthy body is a powerful thing.  Just remember, eating right and getting a little exercise pay dividends between the sheets as well.
10. Slow down: Sometimes it feels great to just pound it out, to get a quickie...but like a fine meal, sex is best when savored...there's no need to rush...take some time to enjoy it. 

And, of course, there are a million other ways to introduce some novelty in the bedroom...we specialize in providing discrete solutions to couples who want more intimacy and excitement.  Why not check us out at The Christian Bed, and pick out something new and exciting?